Want better meetings ?
Think social norms
Covid-19 has shown us the importance of social norms in containing the spread and fatality of this disease. As this recent Guardian article reports those countries that take social rules seriously had fewer Covid deaths when compared to countries that treat social rules more loosely. The practice of social distancing, wearing masks, sanitizing our hands and the fist bumps and elbow knocks became well known practices pretty soon. But which countries/cultures adhered to them depended on whether these practices became norms.
In common parlance a norm is essentially ‘how we do things around here’. If our behavior has become almost automatic without need for legislation you could say it’s become a norm. For e.g. obeying traffic rules even if you are not going to be fined, queuing up for things, not interrupting someone etc. How did this happen? Social psychologists say humans need guidance for their behavior and these unwritten rules of behavior help society function.
So, what has norms got to do with meetings?
I’ve come to realize having helped organizations with improving their leadership meetings that all the advice about agenda, minutes and action items is futile if the group does not internalize these practices and the agreements become norms within the team.
A team may make a list of ‘ground rules’ for meetings or other activities — these are often collective agreements that are discussed and agreed. But whether they are actually practiced depends mostly on whether they are seen as practical norms.
Social Norms
“Norms, also called Social Norms, are rules or standards of behavior shared by members of a social group. Norms may be internalized — i.e. incorporated within the individual so that there is conformity without external rewards or punishments, or they may be enforced by positive or negative sanctions from without.” — from Britannica
“According to the psychological definition of social norms’ behavioral component, norms have two dimensions: how much a behavior is exhibited, and how much the group approves of that behavior.” — Wikipedia
The main points to remember are:
1. Rule making is how humans simplify and organize action and practices
2. Rules become norms, once individuals adopt them
3. Individuals conform to norms because they have internalized the rule or
4. Individuals conform to a norm because they maybe rejected or accepted by their social group
Social norms help guide behavior within a group. It all starts with providing clarity about what is expected, so there are no misconceptions about the true norms of the group.
Now back to meetings….
Here’s what would it take for your meeting practices to become norms
1. Creating shared agreements
2. Collecting feedback
3. Building psychological safety
4. Dealing with broken agreements
Creating shared agreements
Members in a group need a clear indication of how to act and creating collective agreements around meetings is the first step.
One way to approach building collective agreements is by making a list of questions. For e.g. how regularly will you need to meet, at what time, for how long, who needs to be in this meeting, is an agenda necessary and useful, what notes do you need to take, how and who will do it etc. etc.
The agreements are then answers to these questions. Each type of meeting, whether a daily huddle, a project retrospective or a governance meeting would each have its own unique set of agreements and requirements.
Collecting feedback
Asking for feedback on almost anything opens the doors to not just improvement but also builds trust. Allocating 5–10 minutes of your meeting to evaluating your meetings provides an opportunity for members to speak up. If you want to build a culture of feedback, learning and continuous improvement then why not start with seeking feedback about meetings. For instance meeting evaluation is an integral part of meeting design in Sociocracy.
Meetings are the most ubiquitous organizational practice and any improvements to how they are run can have significant impact on so many areas of organizational life — accountability, commitment, transparency, equity, effectiveness, employee voice and culture. Meetings are the one practice where time, money and energy can be potentially saved or wasted.
Allocate time at the end of each meeting to learn from it and use the feedback to improve the next meeting. This is where you actively invite members to reflect on interactions and outcomes, celebrate successes, speak up about broken agreements, and provide suggestions for improvement.
Building psychological safety
For collective agreements to become norms, it’s critical that members speak up when agreements are broken. That’s where meeting evaluations come in. However, an opportunity to provide input is insufficient if members don’t feel safe enough to speak up.
This is where the concept of psychological safety comes in. Psychological safety is the shared belief that the team is safe to speak up, share ideas, ask for help or feedback without the fear of shame or retaliation.
In a psychologically safe environment members are encouraged to be candid and direct. They know they have the right and responsibility to ask hard questions. The key though is to create opportunities for people to provide input, make them feel heard and to respond appropriately. This means evaluating meetings regularly, actively listening to feedback and communicating openly about what will change and why some changes cannot be made.
Dealing with broken agreements
Consistent violation of norms and especially norms that significantly affect the group’s performance will need to be addressed. It’s best to discuss ways of dealing with norm violation while the group is creating agreements about their meeting practices. We only follow rules when the consequence of breaking them is costly to us. By this I don’t advocate punishment but suggest the group think creatively about which agreements are critical and what the group will do when they are broken.
Developing norms for whatever purpose needs skill, patience and practice in communicating with candor and empathy.
Giving feedback is a skill that can be trained and also learnt through practice. Only consistent practice in collecting feedback and adjusting agreements to make them work and stick can lead to useful norms. The shared agreements are futile if members don’t hold each other accountable and feel safe enough to speak up when agreements are broken. Finally, if there are no consequences to broken agreements, then there maybe a lack of trust in the leadership or the group itself.
So, shared agreements, feedback, safety and dealing with broken agreements are all key to making meeting practices stick and eventually become norms. It’s time we stopped complaining about meetings and did something about it. A good place to start is to collect feedback about how you currently run your meetings.
